Late in the day: I have doubts about the wisdom of posting the comment below, but it is done and I do not retract my work as a matter of principle. Mainly the issue for me is about giving attention to the negative. I think in this case I wanted to test myself—a few years ago I would have gone ballistic. Today/now I feel no emotion about the comment below; it doesn’t even seem to be about me, but more of a curiousity. And it does make one valid point, despite the unfriendly presentation.
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I received this note this morning from an anonymous person (vulgar slang email , no name, no place). I did not reply.
I am not a paying subscriber so I can only imagine how people that pay for camera reviews must feel about reading a month's worth of whining over your bullshit injury. Do your job.
What can I say? I want to to do my job. A few years ago such a comment would have really bothered me. Now it just makes me say “ick!” (like dog poop) and wonder a little. And ne parle pas.
Munchma (1st half of sexually vulgar email, which I learned later) has one thing right: my business is suffering financially because I cannot at present deliver new content. OTOH, there is a very large body of work already present that I know remains useful to many readers. I reiterate my appreciation to my loyal subscribers who are helping me through this both by renewing and by the many supportive emails I have received—there are many good-hearted people out there—thank you.
Striking to me: a surprising number of readers have themselves had brain injuries, some far worse than mine. I never knew that. It takes familiarity to understand the psychological and emotional and cognitive effects, so I see that as one gain from an experience I wish had never happened. No one around you can really understand the internals, when the person they see looks 100% normal physically (excepting truly severe injuries which manifest overtly).
It is precisely because I knew nothing about brain injury that I’ve chosen to share my experience, both to help myself through it, but also to help others, even if only one person benefits. I know from emails that when I shared my Metronidozale nerve damage story, it was of great benefit to some.
Profit from experience good or bad, and bad usually yields the most profit when approached with an aim to move forward, because the impact is much greater.
For the benefit of those with a brain injury: it is striking to me that some areas of the brain can be injured while others are unaffected. In my case, the physical (cycling, balance, energy) all are good and indeed I feel best of all after a ride. But sustained cognitive efforts are much more tiring, a sign that that area of the brain is not healed yet.
I have to assess my reactions and proceed cautiously with my only guide being self assessment. Only a week ago, a long day’s drive (and I did less than half) took 2 days to recover from. That scared me a bit.
I think that I will be sufficiently recovered soon to try a half-day’s work, but how long I can tolerate computer work remain to be seen—a few hours seems to be the limit at present, and that for email and reading, far shy of my normal 8-10 hours of assessing and writing, a more demanding task.
A slight headache develops in finishing this, so I am signing off for now.
Jeff K writes:
The $200 full fare, whole shebang subscription is recouped many times over each year for me through targeted equipment purchases (camera and computer gear), techniques and simple enjoyment of what you are up to. If you write about your recovery for six months and then bust out another insightful review on say Fuji’s new GF 250mm lens, I will benefit greatly. You will have saved me time from not having to do my own analysis and money in not having to rent and/or return equipment. Over the last ten years your reviews have never lead me astray or let me down. And, oh BTW, I went with Fuji’s GFX 50 instead of upgrading from the D810 to D850 on account of your review work - no regrets. The images you captured to torture test the GFX were spot on. The files I get out of the GFX please me to no end. Keep up the good work, follow your instincts, and heal up completely!
DIGLLOYD: my original motivation a decade ago was just that sort of thing.